That night I sat in the dark and wouldn’t move, blink and barely breathe. Those words you told me stuck with me and orbited my heart like it was the planets and the sun. I sat in the dark and blacked out. No one could get my attention or snap me out of it. Through that process I told myself “ You will NOT settle down for anyone and anything. You deserve the best and you shall receive the best. That boy is missing out on the best thing he could ever have but oh well it's his lost and you don’t need him at all. You will get off this bed and wipe your tears and smile at the fact that 2 days after your birthday this piece of shit broke up with you. You will laugh until your eyes tear, your tummy hurts and until you can't breathe. You will get up and brush off your shoulders, pick yourself off the floor and crush your heart and create a new heart. One that’s dark, heartless and uncaring. You will still care for those who care for you but those other assholes you will be mean and harsh. You will also not bite your tongue. You will say whatever you please, no matter if it hurts the person. You will not pay him no attention but laugh at how his eyes look when he see you. You will laugh at the guilt he feels. You will laugh at how he wants to say something but doesn’t. You will laugh at how his smile fades when he sees you. You will sit in class and wonder what the fuck did you see in him and your mind will fail to come up with an answer.” Through that whole faze of me giving myself my own advice I look at you and laugh. Your invisible to me. You don’t exist to me. So yea, that night I sat in the dark and I FINALLY told myself and taught myself not to give a crap about ANYBODY'S feeling because of the world we live in, no one gives a fuck about yours. So in my closing, yes I didn’t blink or breathe that night because I was in the process of creating a new me. A more mature me. A more honest me. A more Adult me! A more new me. I was in the process of creating the mindset of yelling, screaming and cursing someone out is no joy at all, that the real joy is using my words carefully, harshly, no curses (maybe one) and looking you dead in your eyes and see, smell and hear the fear and watching you burn. So yes, I didn’t blink or breathe that night…. Yes, I cried that night. Yes. my heart stopped that night. Yes, it (my heart) died that night. Yes, I was broken that night.. But who fixed me? I fixed myself...